Bleh day

I guess today was ok. We were extremely busy at work. We ran around like mad people.

My brother came up and saw us and it was awesomeness! He is looking more and more handsome everyday. But to find out today he is a married man! OMG my brother got married! Her name is Megan I think. I was like um...well ..

Then my step mom was like oh you both did this @8%$ to me looking at me and my older / younger brother....I was like don't make me the bad example lol...I told you about my second marriage...

Now for my rant..omg I really don't understand the point of ...never mind I won't rant about that it will get me quite upset!

Well i need to shower and get dinner cooked!@

This last Saturdayh

Ah last night it was so funny!...O.o

Ah well let me rewind for a moment... I had to go to work until 6pm. So after I get off work I grab Melba and Bill's presents before we go over. SO I decide heels, jeans and a blue shirt. So now I was all fresh and no longer smelt like the deli I decided to head on over. Grabbing Garlic bread and out the door...as we pull up to The Newmans....you hear teh radio blasting....and before we get out of the car I was like Oh gosh Bill has started early lol.

We walk into the door he goes Want a drink? The man was already lit lol.

So Gary gets a drink Melba saves me, off on an errand we go. We go up the The Warehouse to pick up some rum for Gary, Captain Morgan Private Stock is his poison. So while there we aer talking about how you drink it. Melba is like we don't have mountain dew because I told her it was good with dew. Then she is like we don't water down our boo's I am like uh uh I don't drink straight up chicka bad news. Get drunk that way and thats and uh uh here. A couple of guys over hear us and since she emabarassed me earlier i egged teh guys on a bit lol. Why not...flirt back :) Good news on that trip I found 5 bucks on the ground :).....

Back at the house the boys were well into the grilling and alcohol and us girls come in to fix ours. Low base Bloody Mary's...yummy celery, olives and onions....they were so yummy. We only put in a shot in mine and an 1/2 shot in Melba's. We had dinner and after dinner we set around and yakked about this and that. THe boys drank and me and Melba pretended to drink lol. I had straigh tomato juice after a while just spiced up with seasoning.

Around midnight Bill crashed so we came home with our to go plates and goodies we got from them as usual...some hwo I ended up with a mixer? O.o

well that is my saturday in a nut shell :)

Today December 22

Today wasn't that bad... work was busy as usual. *Ouch* sorry hit my head on the wall. I am sitting here in my bed about to crash again....took a power nap earlier....

I spent my lunch at the house and me and Nessa managed to convince Gary to open his gifts and our gifts early. We will ahve to take her back home early Christmas eve. I loved the look on their faces when they got their presents!
Nessa got a webkin pegasus, a stuff teddy bear, a make your own bracelet kit and 2 baby dolls. She loved them...her daddy got a wet/dry electric shaver, a massager and a 1 GB jump drive.

I got a terry robe that is longer than my tink one I got last year, a purple scarf that I love, Tinman series and the new LKH book Swallowing Darkness.

Hmm WORK: work was ok besides me walking around like a zombie. I was sooo tired. I didn't sleep well last nite. Maybe tonite will be better. We were busy.. "cheap chicken monday" *grumbles*
People wait until the last hour to want ot buy chicken... stupid people. But it is ok.. because I left at 7Pm lol. Oh one of the managers came to the deli adn was like who is working the back? in a grumpy mean way (don't think he likes me) I was like me and he was liek you have supplies on teh floor by the bailer..the guy who was warming his food up was like um no their stuff is on a rack in their back room. I was like there HA you shouldn't come over here and try to get on to me because of something I have no clue about. *so wanted to call him a not to nice name* but didn't....

I get home fall asleep on couch, take shower, eat, and then here I am an hour later getting ready for sleep...so heres blip for the day!

RUde...never

Hmm the point of this is to wonder why do people get jobs in customer service related jobs who truly hate waiting or serving people? I work at a deli in a supermarket part time. It gives me a bit of spending money and isn't that big of an deal...but there are people who come in that have had a crappy day and will be cranky no matter what. So what should you do?

NO...not be cranky back. Just smile and keep your inner monologue to your self. But yet there are people who do not...which therefore makes the day even worse.

Now in the back at the deli and bakery we have things that we do not cook alot of because well they do not last or do well under the heat as other prepared food..SO it only takes 4 to 5 minutes to prepare it, so when a customer ask for it, don't give them the fifth degree on it.

Now for the girls up front at the registers I think they are part robot. No word just blank stares and constantly same movement....hmm shouldn't you greet the customer and make a small talk that will make them feel a little bit at home? Talk to them not at them.

BUt ah here I am understanding this which I knwo what my job is adn what it was goin to be when I went into the job, did these girls not understand. Hence 5 years ago when I was in teh military (off subject but funny)...a girl asked the sergent, "Are we gonna have to go to war?" The sergent was like, "NO we are gonna make cake! Of course you are gonna go to war you are in the military?"

But that is my little rant lol. NOw i am looking at my other half like he is crazy lol. He doesn't understand I would like to post my blog and by him being silly lol I have forgotten my train of thought.

(thanks honey when you read this)

BUt about ppl and customer service ... if you don't like people don't get the job stay home or go work on an assembly line or something and let someone hwo wants to work with people have the job.

endless ache

when i think deeply in my room the darkness engulfs me
fallin endlessly in the abyss
whispers caress my skin as they prickle each sensor
the slumber lingering near me is the smell of lavender as the smell devours the air
warm drops touch my skin as i look down astonished at the endless ache
the ache creeps up from my bones into my soul
filling my stomach it seeps into my lungs
anchoring deep filling my lungs full with a rage filled cry
opening my mouth to scream from the burning that creeps through me
yet i sit quietly smiling, looking on with an occassional laugh

asthetics to those that look upon
unknowing of the storms that wage inside of me
anxiety leaks into me like toxic waste seeps into the earth

fear grasps me like a thief in the night when I awake again with you standing at the end of my bed..

a nightmare I thought long gone...but not forgotten.

Behind Closed Doors

Have you ever thought on sex? On what it means to have sex or the meaning of two people being together? Should sex be something just for procreation or should it be something two people do to show how they feel about one another. Ah then when you realize this-does the flame between the two people burn brilliantly or is it fast and hot only to die out quickly after the heat has left the flame? Ah sex in some relationships remain basic, then some have intriguing fullfilling sex lives where they can not find and end to their hunger for each other. But then there are the relationships where the couple loves each other greatly yet out of the time they are together their sex life went from hot embers to that of smoldering coals. Still hot for each yet it seems there is a staleness to the passion. Just as coals in a fire you must stir them up once in a while to allow air to reach them so that they may burn brighter and even ignite again. But the issues that insues in this relationship is the male is all but willing to be with teh woman yet, he is timid about showing this to his woman. The woman has told her lover many times it is not she is not attracted to him just not attracted to the way he introduces himself for a eveningof pleasure. Women usually do not do well when they become bored with a scenario in their life or behind doors. Women love to have a bit of play in the room or else where. Then there is the timing...do not wait until it is time for sleep because if one is reading theirselves for bed, this does not necessarilly mean they are game for sex because they are in bed. But alas men must view this as the only time for "making love".

Ah my rant is done for now..perhaps I will write more on this later. For now I must go to bed it is late and I have work tomorrow.

Lucky day

Today was my first nite working with my step mom at the deli today. I am so tired. I got some cleaning done today-even though now i want to go to bed. i really don't want to spend time with gary atm. I just want to sleep. I love him i just am tired and want to go to bed that is all.

Day out at Grand bay

Today was a day of fun and happiness for me. My honey took time off to make me feel better due to all
the mess that has happened with my mum and me trying to get school finished this semester. At first I will admit I was very rebellious of teh idea of him being there with me, but I have seen that it is the greatest thing he could have done.
We decided today to go out and have fun just us. I wanted to be up and about around lunch time, but the puppy we are keeping kept me awake off an on. His name is Bruiser, he is my old chiuhuahua that my roomie has now. We roommated years ago, but her and Bru were inseperable so she took Bru and I had my kitties. :) So he has two mommies one who he visits off and on and the mommie he lives with permenantly. So the sleep I got today felt good. So around 3pm we grabbed food then, Gary was like Grand Bay. We need to go to Grand Bay we've never been so lets go. So we went. It isn't something overly exciting, unless you are into Parks like we are. We both love nature-what can we say I am a Kitchen Witch at heart and he I guess You could say is Shaman like lol. He makes me think of a medicine man at times..he heals alot of my wounds emotionally where no one else could. Even though, he doesn't always get me, he can make me smile even when I don't want to.

We walked the trail and took some really great pics. But the most exciting of it was the tower. We both don't care for heights But OH MY GOD! the view was amazing. It was worth every step up to the tower. As we went up the tower I remembered the last tower that I went up I came down by rope..repelling lol. I loved it...wouldn't think someone with teh fear of heights would enjoy repelling. I would love to do it again too...but learn more about it than what I was shown in the military. Today was a good day, we ate KFC...which I was craving, and NO I am not pregnant. I just crave food lol. Part Italian, Scot, German, Irish and 2 different Indian-yes I love food. I may be a mutt- but I love the fact that my family has a broad culture :)

This is the pic I chose for my blog, my others will be up soon for viewing but I just wanted to tell of my day. We even took some great sky shots on the way home. I really didn't want to come home tonite but what choice did we have... GO TO BOOKSAMILLION...yeap that is right lol. Before coming home we went by BAM, found my truffles I have been looking for...a very yummy truffle. But we had a cup of coffee me a gingerbread latte and Gary a mocha. Then we raided the books. I resisted the temptation to buy a new journal lol. I am just a journal nut. I lvoe journals always have. But when funds run low you have to back off the addiction lol. But soon my precious you will be mine... (oh sorry that wasn't suppose to come out)

But here we sit at home, with our creative aspirations flying high and the list of new books for me to scavenger the net for :) yes... why buy them from the store when you can buy them offline cheaper....I mean sometimes you must buy from the store and not offline...offline shopping is evil....i mean the greatest thing they ever came up with :)

Well I must let this be...I have much more to do...pics to upload....things to think on...and perhaps another blog entry on this weekend with posted pic of my step daughter Anneiyssa and her daddy :)

Craziness pursues

I haven't blogged in a bit because well life happened. As i've said before my mother became ill-well a week before her birthday which was Thanksgiving my mother passed away. Which then ensued many troubles after this-buring a family memeber is the roughest thing you can do. But it doesn't help when you start having issues within yourself which brings on much much more drama in your heart and life that is not needed. So I have been trying to endure much issues from myself and those around me.

My friend who is in florida sometimes i wonder- it is almost as thou I am his girlfriend or that he is overly friendly i don't know. Anyways it is a pain when youw ant to talk to someone but can't. I haven't spoke to him on the phone in a week now and well its kinda hard because i have my other half home with me-they do not get along. So its keep the one you live with happy and try to understand why the one who should be your friend should understand when youare in a commitment you can't just forget who they are or take them for granted. I learn this everyday because i screw up alot lol.

Its hard to be me sometimes...but oh well...

classes are at an end, i have an exam downloading now and one on monday i have yet to study for and now have a house full so its gonna be very difficult to study especially with little ones running around. And now i know why I am so tired and bleh...

on a good note i do have a part time job now. Its working in a deli but it is a job that will give me a little money in my pocket that is mine :) i am happy for that. So well i guess i better get on my exam and to bed soon because i am very tired.