For the past week my little weather gadget has said there was going to be rain. Hmm...finally it rained but it said no rain today just clouds. LOL. Hmm..I'm in a weird mood. I need to clean my room and do laundry. I may actually burn some candles and such tonite. Its been awhile since I have actually done anything with my altar. Maybe tonite would be a good time to do so.
I think some jasmine would go well with the rain smell comign in from my back door. I have alot I want to do and I think tonight would be a good night to make those list and get my life on track. I've always wondered when I would wake up. Never thought it would take the loss of my mom to wake me up and realize I can't waste my life.
I love those who are around me. I love my little sister. I adore her with all my heart and want to see her be happy. But I seem to always miss just being a big sister. I am not her mother-even thou I have had to be. Now I don't know if I can do anything anymore. I am loosing alot. I feel like I fall into darkness constantly. And who will there be to pull me out? This I wonder so much. Perhaps I should just fall and not worry about it. But can I do that? Can I just let go? Can I just freely fall without worries of what will happen? I don't think so. But I guess I could try. I don't know anymore who I am or what I am doing-I am just moving on as much as I can in hopes that I will find a strong footing somewhere and then be able to continue walking in life.
I think some jasmine would go well with the rain smell comign in from my back door. I have alot I want to do and I think tonight would be a good night to make those list and get my life on track. I've always wondered when I would wake up. Never thought it would take the loss of my mom to wake me up and realize I can't waste my life.
I love those who are around me. I love my little sister. I adore her with all my heart and want to see her be happy. But I seem to always miss just being a big sister. I am not her mother-even thou I have had to be. Now I don't know if I can do anything anymore. I am loosing alot. I feel like I fall into darkness constantly. And who will there be to pull me out? This I wonder so much. Perhaps I should just fall and not worry about it. But can I do that? Can I just let go? Can I just freely fall without worries of what will happen? I don't think so. But I guess I could try. I don't know anymore who I am or what I am doing-I am just moving on as much as I can in hopes that I will find a strong footing somewhere and then be able to continue walking in life.
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